Exhausted, I fell into bed, complaining that EVERY interaction I had with Daniel today was adversarial. “Why is he so emotional with every response? Do I have to get an attitude and push-back with every question or comment?”

“Well,” says hubby, “think of everything we put him through today. First there was the removal of his recliner from his room over his protestations, with no negotiation. Then he was having trouble on his computer with a game site that just won’t work no matter what I do, and I can’t fix it, and there are some games on it he really wants to play. And then we removed all the furniture from the family room and set up camping chairs while we wait for our new ones. That kind of change is very stressful for him, he just expresses it in teenage attitude instead of tantrumming.”

“And then there was the fact that his weekly paycheck wasn’t ready at Papa John’s because of the holiday,” I said, “and he didn’t like the texture of the corduroy pants I bought him for work, so by the time we got to bedtime and I told him he didn’t need the ceiling fan on during the wintertime, he said ‘I don’t care! I want it on, OK????…”

“… he had a fit because that was the only thing he had control over today. Everything thing else was out of his control, so asserting himself on that one thing was important.”

Well said, partner. I love you.