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To Be or Not to Be (in an abusive situation)

June 29, 2012 By Leave a Comment

Peggy asked, “what was the final straw?” I don’t remember it. There were so many. I DO remember a point of no return … where I knew I could lose my home and marriage if I pushed for change. I also learned you gotta be sure and be prepared when dislodging abuse, because you wouldn’t BE in that mess if it were easy for you to know and keep your boundaries in the first place.

That does not excuse the abuser. No way. It just acknowledges the fact that in adult to adult situations (not child abuse) if you are in an abusive relationship, there was some point back there where your boundaries got crossed in a harmful way. Someone’s sinful nature took advantage of their position or power over you, and you did not allow the negative consequences of their behavior to fall on THEM (for reasons you will figure out as you heal).

So now the rut you are in is very deep, and the side’s slippery, and it’s going to cost you an arm and a leg (figuratively) to get out. You may even feel guilty about getting help, because someone who loved you may have warned you about getting into this kind of relationship, and you did not listen. And you may feel you deserve it, because of sin in your life, or you may think it’s what Christ is asking when He said “turn the other cheek,” etc….

I felt all of those things.

To be fair, I did periodically ask for help, but was blown off…which added despair.

Then one day our church did a seminar for leadership on abuse, sponsored by the abuse center in our city. It was startling to hear frank information on abuse, patterns, and statistics showing how things only get worse – not better. That shook my denial.

In addition, our kids got older, bringing their own dynamics into play – which made too many players…I couldn’t “control” the abuse by running interference enough. The stakes got higher. I asked Jesus for a healthy way to push abuse OUT of our lives.

About that time I read the books on Boundaries (in Marriage) by Townsend and Cloud…helping me understand I could change things around myself, by myself, by learning how to have and enforce healthy boundaries, biblically.

And when I was finished living in fear, appalled at what was happening to our children, and tired of waiting for someone to “rescue” me – I asked myself these questions:

What’s the worst thing that can happen (if I put healthy boundaries into play)?
Am I willing to pay that price to be healthy and free (and my kids)?
Is God OK with this plan?

Like a trampled spring and a polluted well is a righteous man (or woman) who gives way before the wicked. Proverbs 25:26

It took a team and years.

I asked the Lord for someone I could trust. I went to several pastors, and several men counselors, who only made things worse. The counselor who finally helped was a woman in our church, who understood the dynamics of mental health issues and abuse.  Jesus enabled her to help me formulate plans at each step along the way out. I eventually disclosed the abuse to several close friends who prayed for me as I drew boundaries. Ultimately, I disclosed to several close men in my husband’s life and asked for their help.

Since then, I’ve found tremendous clarity and healing through the ministry of Mending the Soul, http://www.mendingthesoul.org/ … – they have a great book and workbook that can be done alone or in small group.

Now, years later, my husband thanks me for requiring the changes…for no longer giving way before the sinful choices.  I didn’t see THAT coming  :) .

Hope this helps someone..

— free and loving it, Joan

Filed Under: abuse, Marriage Tagged With: ,

Minimum Distance

June 28, 2012 By 1 Comment

Motherhood is not for those of us with personal space issues. The moment those little sea monkeys start to grow behind your navel, you’ve got to make peace with the fact that your entire endocrine system exists for the benefit of another human being. They come out clawing for food from YOUR body, they are only comforted by the laying on of YOUR shoulder, they are possessed of scrupulous aim when it comes to projecting every possible bodily fluid onto YOU. They pull your clothes, they follow you into the bathroom, they trip you up. For the most part, children do not understand the concept of maintaining a minimum distance.

Now, as a physically affectionate person, I might be less bothered by this than most. Jesse sitting on my lap while he eats his dinner (because this is the only way I can seduce him into finishing what’s left on his plate); Grace playing with my hair as I read her a bedtime story; even the foot pressed into my side when Jesse scrambles into my bed like a puppy in the early morning hours and falls back to sleep – none of this annoys. I love the physical closeness of my children. I long for it. As they grow, I have become keenly aware of when it is absent.

The Bed Thief

The Bed Thief

Noah’s method of hugging is now tilting his head toward me and letting my arms surround him, or turning away from me, and backing in toward my trunk. These do not feel like real hugs. When I kiss him, he looks away. He does not touch me of his own accord. I must always initiate. Grace tears toward me at the end of the camp day to squeeze my middle and lift her face for a kiss. Noah strides by me, headed for the corner chair and his Nintendo DS. He always maintains a minimum distance from me – and from others. Unless he is torturing his siblings. He can sit on Jesse without batting an eye.

I’m aware that part of this could be that burgeoning distinction that all nearly-eight-year-old boys must make from their mothers. There is a part of him that has begun to recognize that holding my hand is no longer kosher. And then there is the part of him that simply shies from certain forms of physical touch because of his unique circuitry. He loves horseplay, for example – rough housing, being thrown in the air, banging into other kids on the trampoline. But the light touch of a kiss on the cheek, or gently holding his hand creeps him out. He’d much rather I squeeze the living daylights out of him, or mash my entire face against his (which I have done, in an attempt to steal a kiss from him). Not that he enjoys these at all – I believe he more “tolerates” them. But the harder the touch, the more he giggles. There is a direct relationship between pressure and pleasure for my boy. So, when I want nothing more than to physically connect with him at the end of the day, it’s usually a flying body-slam onto the couch, or a twirling bear hug that gives me just a few seconds longer in his arms. And it works out okay. Because the few seconds he tolerates are the few seconds I need.

- Sarah

Filed Under: Asperger, balance, Emotions, Family, Parenting, Relationships, siblings, Uncategorized Tagged With: ,

Sticks, stones and words…

June 27, 2012 By Leave a Comment

I was grateful for Joan’s post, Admitting Abuse, last week.  She touched on an issue that our family has struggled to address.  Addressing this issue with a child is different than with a spouse.  But I am so aware that how we address this issue in our son’s life will affect how he is as a husband and father one day.

No pressure.

I always try to look at the blessed side of an early diagnosis.  It is sad for your child to have his identity wrapped up in an early diagnosis.  But I have noted two specific blessings.  The first is that he has grown up with meds as part of his life so I don’t fear his deciding one day in his late teens or twenties that he doesn’t need them. There is no question in his mind that he benefits from them.

The other blessing is we addressed some of the early challenges of living with bipolar disorder when he was 1/2 my size.

This particular blessing plays into the follow up to Joan’s post last week.

We confronted the issue of abuse in our home very early.  Jack is the older sibling and in the early days of his journey he could get very out of control at times.  Sibling rivalry is as old as the sun but the level of the exchange can be unusually heated when you throw in unmanaged bipolar disorder.  So those early days when we were trying to establish medical stability were very difficult.  On more than one occasion I had to physically remove this child from his younger brother when he had thrown him to the ground and was assaulting him.

I will never forget a particularly painful conversation after one of these altercations.  When calm had been restored I sat down with my then eight year old son.  I made absolutely clear that if he ever hurt his brother he would no longer live in our home.  Period.  No questions.  No discussion.  This was a hard, fast boundary that was immovable.

It mattered.

What I learned in that moment and the months to follow was the importance of that one very painful exchange.  (What mother wants to ever say this to her beloved child?  How will it affect his security?  How will it affect his understanding of our unconditional love for him?)

The good news is this: It registered.  He heard me.  He understood that I was serious.  And it never happened again.

Oh there were the verbal altercations but there was never another physical altercation like the one that precipitated that discussion.

I am grateful we addressed that early.

But we are still on this road.  We still have to address the abuse issue.  It is just verbal now.

I so agree with Joan that it is hard to know where the lines of sin and disability and choice intersect. Only God understands where those exact lines are drawn.  All we can do as parents is to work to address the issues before us whether we understand all the nuances or not.

So today, we address the verbal issues… the harsh tone, the harsh words, the abrupt interruptions. These we are still working on.

I am told from other dear friends parenting teenagers that they deal with these challenges as well. It is just kicked up a notch when you throw bipolar disorder into the mix.

So here are a few thoughts for those of us parenting children with bipolar disorder and struggling to address the abuse issue in word or deed.

  1. Never allow physical abusiveness.  Ever.  You do not have to tolerate it and the child has to learn other means of expressing extreme emotions.  I have known parents who had to call the police when their teenage sons became physically aggressive.  That is something I have never had to do but have born in mind at moments when it looked like it might become necessary. (Keep in mind my son is no longer 1/2 my size.)
  2. Do not try to address these issues in the middle of a crisis moment.  Be safe. Walk away if necessary.  You don’t have to address every issue at the moment.  But, you MUST address them in the quiet moments that eventually follow. When the remorse comes (and in our experience, it always does) use that moment to continue to teach appropriate responses in those moments of seemingly overwhelming emotion.
  3. Have a backup plan.  Know when to seek help.  We are blessed to be a couple addressing these concerns.  At times I will go to my husband and let him know I need a walk or some other break.  We have learned when one of us asks, it counts as tag – you are in and I am out.  Know when you need to do so. If you are a single parent addressing these concerns, have a couple of people you can call who will come immediately when you do.
  4. Know this is a long road.  I would love to say that we have figured this one out.  But we are still in the process of learning and teaching.  We continue to have to lean heavily into God in the moments of verbal crisis that still occur.
  5. Keep the end in mind.  The end that constantly drives me is the awareness that I want my eventual daughter-in-law and potential grandchildren (assuming they are in our future) to bless us for having addressed this.  When I am tempted to just give it a pass and avoid the conflict, I remember this young woman.  I pray for her.  And I pray for us as we continue to work this challenging area with our son.

I don’t have all the answers.  I wish I did. But I continue to pray for wisdom for us and grace and growth for our son.  God is at work in him and us.  “The LORD will perfect that which concerneth me: thy mercy, O LORD, endureth for ever: forsake not the works of thine own hands.”  (Psalm 138:8)

His handiwork,

Hannah

Filed Under: abuse, Bipolar Disorder, Parenting Tagged With: , ,

Two’s a Crowd?

June 26, 2012 By Leave a Comment

My kids have always looked forward to vacations. They love to stay in hotels and swim in hotel pools. This year much to the younger children’s dismay we chose not to have any pool memberships, so vacation time=swimming time! But, on our most recent vacation there was an odd new dynamic and as I ponder the events of the week I’m wondering if it is here to stay.

In my pre-trip research I discovered that the hotel had two pools. When we arrived we went to the pool that was the easiest to get to from our room. It just happened to be the one we didn’t have to traipse through the lobby to get to! We were all surprised to find that the pool (I’ll call it pool #1) was a bit on the small side. The kids were happy to see there was a hot tub because they like to warm up in the hot tub after being in the pool for a while. When we got there other kids were in the pool, but the kids got in anyway and had a good time. But, being the adventurers we are, we wanted to check out the other pool (pool #2), or at least some of us did….

For the next swim we made the longer trek to see what this undiscovered pool had to offer. It had a nice view of the Mississippi River which I really liked, but I don’t think the kids even noticed. It always seemed to be windy and I think it was because the deck area was surrounded on three sides by walls—if that makes any sense. Regardless, it was a strike for Stephen. And, there was no hot tub, strike two. As soon as we walked out the door and into sight of the pool Stephen saw that there were two teenage girls in the pool and said, “It is too crowded, let’s go to the other pool.” Three strikes. His definition of “too crowded” was two people in the larger pool and about four people sunbathing/reading in chairs on the deck. I just didn’t get it.

My daughter wanted to stay at the pool #2. I really didn’t want to gather our stuff back up and parade through the lobby to pool #1 not knowing if there would be “too many people” at that pool, too. So I told him we were staying. He waited until the two girls got out of the pool before he would get in. After he got in the girls slipped back into the pool and I wondered if he would get back out. He didn’t. :-)

The next time we attempted a swim in pool #2 I took all three kids. There were others in the pool and when Stephen found out his older brother wasn’t swimming he refused to get in the pool. He went so far as to go back up to our room and called me later to see if his brother had decided to swim yet. When I told him he was in the pool he said he was coming down to swim. The three of them played together and had a great time.

There are many facets of Asperger that I do not understand. I can read books about it, but it still just doesn’t make sense to me, because my mind does not function in the same way his does. As I see some of these behaviors from Stephen—even some that seem to be new in some circumstances, I imagine what Stephen is going to be like as an adult. Even though he has some odd behaviors, he is turning out to be a funny, caring, and sensitive guy. I just hope he doesn’t end up in situations where he closes himself off from others because being around strangers makes him uncomfortable.

~Louise

Filed Under: Asperger, Parenting, vacation Tagged With: , ,

End of Year Ponderings

June 25, 2012 By Leave a Comment

We have just finished another school year.  And I am exhausted.

No, really.

My dear son is a very bright kid with gross learning disabilities.  He has had an IEP since he was 3 and we did our 14th and final IEP for his senior year this Spring.  The journey has been, and continues to be, long.

It seems every year we have at least one teacher who doesn’t implement the IEP.  We can work really hard to get an excellent IEP document and then spend the entire next school year trying to get a recalcitrant teacher to just do the requirements.  Yes, I can tell it is the end of the year because grace has been strained almost to the breaking point.

I know some of you get what I am saying.

I know they are busy.  And I know they are juggling many things.  Truly, I appreciate that.  The problem is: when they don’t do their job, it is my SON who feels like the failure.  The teacher fails and doesn’t know it, or doesn’t care.  Unfortunately, the feeling of failure falls on my child.

And that angers me.  Really.  I have to pray A LOT when we find ourselves in this kind of place.

One wants to extend grace to allow a season of getting to know your child.  But at some point, a teacher just needs to do what is necessary to teach the child – even if it means he has to get outside his comfort zone to do so.  So often I feel like saying to the teacher:  “IT IS NOT ABOUT YOU!!  If you think it is about you, you chose the wrong profession!”

Alas, I don’t say these things.  But I certainly feel and think them.

I am a very educated parent.  I have a significant level of understanding of the law, the regulations, the requirements.  And I am an advocate by training and experience.  This is how I made my living early on in my professional career.  I think most people would say I am good at it.

But what I have come to see (yet am struggling to accept) is that it doesn’t matter how vigilant, engaged, or gracious I am.  If there is a teacher who doesn’t want to help and just wants to do things the way he/she has always done them, it is going to be a rough year.

I HATE that.  I try so hard to be kind, gracious, engaged, active, encouraging, etc.

I was struck during this latest episode with the distinct awareness that I had done all I could do and the Lord was pleased with my stewardship.  He does not expect me to be able to change the recalcitrant teacher or the disengaged administrator who allows it to happen.  He only holds me and my husband accountable for our stewardship responsibility in being the best advocate for the child He has entrusted to our care.  He will hold them accountable for their failures.

My prayer has to remain for my son.  That God would protect his heart, assure him of His love, encourage him concerning his future.  God has a plan for this boy/man.  Somehow the difficulty of the journey is preparing him for that task.

It grieves me.  But I can trust Him.

Still walking it out,

Shannon

Filed Under: IEP, learning disabilities, Parenting, school Tagged With: , , ,

An Encouraging Word

June 24, 2012 By Leave a Comment

These words from Isaiah embrace me and encourage me as the days speed along until my daughter turns twelve years old. As I look back on all her past birthdays, I am most impressed with God’s great faithfulness. I see His hand all over our family. I don’t know why. I don’t know why He loves us and chooses us to display His glory.

I’m just so thankful for His tangible-ness here this week. My girl is growing up. I know eventually, that means she’ll grow away from me, that she’ll leave the nest and either flounder or fly. Or both. What will I do when I can’t advocate for her anymore, when I’m not there to interpret the world to her—and explain her to the world?

I’ll rest in these words—this Word—Who promises stamina and help:

(From Isaiah 40)

27Jacob, why do you say,
and Israel, why do you assert:
“My way is hidden from the Lord,
and my claim is ignored by my God”?
28Do you not know?
Have you not heard?
Yahweh is the everlasting God,
the Creator of the whole earth.
He never grows faint or weary;
there is no limit to His understanding.
29He gives strength to the weary
and strengthens the powerless.
30Youths may faint and grow weary,
and young men stumble and fall,
31but those who trust in the Lord
will renew their strength;
they will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary;
they will walk and not faint.

Leaning on His Everlasting arms of grace and mercy,

Cassandra

 

Filed Under: Bible, Encouragement, Faith Tagged With: ,

Counting the Cost of a New Genetic Screening Test

June 23, 2012 By Leave a Comment

This visiting post by my friend and former colleague, Dr. C. Ben Mitchell.

Earlier this month a team of researchers at the University of Washington reported it was able to map the entire genetic blueprint of an unborn baby using only a blood sample from the mother—who was just18 weeks into her pregnancy—and saliva from the father. They believe that this technique will enable them, with 98% accuracy, to screen a fetus for more than 3,000 genetically linked conditions, including cystic fibrosis, muscular dystrophy, and Marfan syndrome. The reality is that for most of these conditions there is no current treatment or cure. The only way to avoid a baby being born with these traits is to avoid bringing the baby to term. In other words, unborn children with physical, cognitive, or other disabilities, will either be aborted or die in a petri dish in the fertility clinic.

To be sure, there is no legal reason these children may not be born, but the painful lesson of genetic screening for Down Syndrome is that decreasing numbers of children with disabilities are brought to term, not because the disabilities have been cured, but because the screening test effectively paints a bulls-eye on their chest.  Today, because of the pervasiveness of testing, 90% of children with Down Syndrome are never born. Why would we expect this new test to be used any differently?

Among other things, genetic testing raises the specter of so-called liberal eugenics. That is, unlike the American eugenics movement in the 1920s and 1930s that led to massive numbers of women being legally sterilized against their wills, and unlike Hitler’s eugenic laws in Germany, the new eugenics is softer, less formal, but just as lethal. With contemporary eugenics, unborn children are screened for unwanted genetics and parents typically hear only two options: choose not to bring the child to term or deliver a baby with a lifetime full of suffering, pain, and hopelessness.  Subtly, either through lack of options or social pressure, parents are shamed into not having those children.  British philosophy professor and advocate of liberal eugenics, John Harris, said about these tests: “We would be negligent and reckless if we paid no attention to the health care of future generations and future people. The ability to protect future generations from terrible conditions that will blight their lives seems to me to be an absolute moral responsibility and a duty that we should not shirk.” Yet the logic of genetic screening is perverse:  should we prevent children from being born with disabilities by preventing them from being born at all?

Eugenics works the other way around too. There is no reason in principle why these tests could not be used for selecting for certain traits. These tests could be used eventually, for instance, to test for hair color, eye color, height, or any number of cognitive or physical traits. We are a step closer to Designer Children.

There are valiant exceptions to our culture of narcissism, of course. Some courageous parents choose to bring their children into the world, lovingly caring for them, despite the diagnosis of a genetically-linked disorder. Society should applaud their self-sacrifice and love, rather than pity them for their supposed naivete. There may come a time when the ethical means to treat and cure disabilities are available to us. But in this case, the end of not bearing a child with a disability, does not justify the means of ending the life of the child before birth. “One always hopes, vainly, that in utero testing will be for the benefit of the unborn child” said Josephine Quintavalle, the founder of Britain’s Pro-Life Alliance, “But, whilst this new test may not itself be invasive, given our past track record, it is difficult to imagine that this new test will not lead to more abortions.” In other words, when one
counts the cost of this new genetic screening method, the moral arithmetic does not add up.

C. Ben Mitchell, Ph.D., is Graves Professor of Moral Philosophy at Union University and editor of Ethics & Medicine: An International Journal of Bioethics. His most recent volume is Biotechnology and the Human Good published by Georgetown University Press.

Filed Under: genetics, Parenting Tagged With: ,

Admitting Abuse

June 22, 2012 By 2 Comments

I was raised with the moral code, “if you don’t have something nice to say about someone, then don’t say anything at all.”

That’s a problem, I came to find out.  God says point blank, “speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up” (Eph 4:15)… and that meant I had to learn some truth is so “not nice”, it must be said – especially when it feels like it can’t be said. In fact, to not mention it is practically lying, depending on how bad things are. Abuse definitely falls in this category.

To quote a friend of mine, “there’s no use planting daisies ‘round a dead rat.” Which is to say, there’s not enough Pretty to cover up Stink.

If you are reading this, and you’re afraid to keep reading – then this is for you, dear one.

One of the dynamics in our marriage was abuse. This is part of our testimony, because it is something Jesus is saving us from. And I do mean “is saving” because we are a work in progress. “When I am tempted to hide or disguise the circumstances of my life when grace was most evident against the background of my sin, let me instead point to my failures to say, “Look what grace did!” (Jennifer Kennedy Dean)  That’s us.

“I did not shrink from declaring to you anything that was profitable….” Paul. (Acts 20:20)

I promised God I would not shrink from declaring to you anything profitable from my own story, as we’ve faced hidden disabilities. (And that in itself is an act of God in my life, I’m here to tell you.) This principle also helped rescue our marriage. I finally did not shrink back from declaring anything that could be profitable to my mate’s health (and by association, the health of our marriage and family). Ultimately, this meant I finally told the truth about the abuse.

Yes, in our case, as most, there were many factors making abuse possible. No, I am not going to address all of them in 500 words or less. I am not that smart, and you would not be that edified. But I am going to tell you two of the reasons I allowed abuse:

I believed the hidden disability caused the abuse, so it was unavoidable, and love required I tolerate it.

Then, I hid the abuse because I felt it would dishonor my husband to disclose it, and God wouldn’t want that.  I was wrong on so many levels….

With such terrible logic, damage kept occurring to our marriage and family (obviously).  Just because chemistry, temperament, heritage (to name a few) prompted reactions, it did not make the words or actions any less harmful. A broken leg is going to hurt and require medical attention, regardless of how it got broke … there’s no getting around it. It was foolish for me (and him) to pretend otherwise. It just about split me in two.

You desire truth in the innermost being, and in the hidden part You will make me know wisdom. (Ps 51:6)  Truth, not duplicity.

Let me be clear: I have no idea where all the lines for disability, sin, and choice intersect. God alone can and will judge that.

But I do know God loved both of us too much to support anything that damaged either of us. Period. Regardless of diagnosis. Like Him, we now love each other too much to hide the behaviors that harm. When they occur, we seek help. 

My husband and I both long for you to know this – God does not support anyone abusing you, regardless of diagnosis. True, your relationship(s) may not survive telling the truth. But if there is abuse present, it will not survive anyway. That’s a given. Might as well give your relationship its only chance – speak the truth in love and get whatever help you need to break free. Please.

My heart is full on this topic, but I will wait to hear if this raises any questions in your mind. Let me know.

Loving and being loved,

Joan

Filed Under: abuse, Marriage Tagged With: ,

What He Does

June 21, 2012 By

Noah’s going to the 2012 London Olympics.  Not as a spectator.  Oh, no.  He tells us that he’s going as a competitor in swimming.  Which should be interesting, considering he’s only recently mastered swimming in the deep end of the pool.  And why shouldn’t he be competing?  We’ve told him that there’s nothing he can’t achieve if he sets his mind to it.  But setting his mind and simultaneously applying his body does not seem to be a concept he’s mastered.  Noah is extremely perseverant. But this dedication manifests only when Noah is already into something – when he’s so far invested that to turn back would invite ridicule, or equate to failure.

Trying to ply my children with engaging activities while buying myself a few hours of solace, I’ve laid out careful camp plans this summer.  This week was art camp.  Run by a talented local artist with a lovely studio, there were children ages 5 to 8 in the class.  He got to go with his sister.  It was only a few hours, and the class was small.  It seemed perfect.   Seemed.

After the first day, Noah announced that he hated art camp because it was too difficult, and it required work. It was something he hadn’t mastered, and couldn’t pretend that he had.  He didn’t want to go back and try again when the shading or shape wasn’t quite right.  He was ready to quit after one day.  Well, we’re not quitters.

Plus, I’ve already paid for the whole week.

What Noah does is jump to the most extreme conclusion, the highest pinnacle of achievement related to the belief that he can – as we’ve told him – achieve anything he sets his mind to.  This means winning Olympic gold, writing a New York Times bestseller, or painting the next “Starry Night.”  Instantly. He will tell you he can do it all. And if he tries it without instant success, he automatically “hates it.”  Noah expects to be prodigious at everything he attempts, not understanding that even Mozart spent a few hours in practice on the harpsichord.

He hasn’t figured out that setting your mind to something also means setting your body in motion to achieve it.

I think Noah has the hard part down.  I’m excellent at brute achievement , the doing of things, the slaving away.  But the belief that I might be able to achieve something?  I’m often surprised when I meet a goal.  For me, the mental part is the biggest challenge.  I am sometimes hindered from achieving what I want because I get hung up in the “am I good enough?” minutiae and it frequently slows my stride.

We told Noah that art was a challenge, but a beautiful exercise in dedication.  We told him it would take practice, and that it would get better with every minute spent in his sketchbook.  We were right.  Not prone to emotions of extremes or anything (ahem), he told me today he LOVED art camp. Why?  Because the drawing of an egg that he’d been working to shade for 3 days finally, with hard work, came out just the way he’d already planned.

- Sarah

Filed Under: Asperger, balance, Challenge, Emotions, Expectations, summer, Uncategorized Tagged With: , ,

Shaken

June 20, 2012 By 2 Comments

For thus says the Lord of host: Yet once more, in a little while, I will shake the heavens and the earth and the sea and the dry land. And I will shake all nations, so that the treasures of all nations shall come in, and I will fill this house with glory, says the Lord of hosts. Haggai 2: 6-7

See that you do not refuse him who is speaking. For if they did not escape when they refused him who warned them on earth, much less will we escape if we reject him who warns from heaven. At that time his voice shook the earth, but now he has promised, “Yet once more I will shake not only the earth but also the heavens.” This phrase, “Yet once more,” indicates the removal of things that are shaken – that is, things that have been made – in order that the things that cannot be shaken may remain. Therefore let us be grateful for receiving a kingdom that cannot be shaken, and thus let us offer to God acceptable worship, with reverence and awe, for our God is a consuming fire. Hebrews 12:25-29.

As I mentioned last month I have two major decisions to make. Both of these situations came up the same week; both were unexpected. One pertains to my son’s psychiatrist, as the psychiatrist my son dearly loved retired, and the other pertains to my job, a scary decision for a single mom.

Concerning my son’s psychiatrist, at first we were going to go to someone closer to home but my son really wants to stay at the office where his retired psychiatrist worked.  They have other psychiatrists and nurse practitioners there so it won’t be such a drastic change.  Hopefully it will be an easier transition for him this way so for now we plan on staying there and seeing where the Lord leads.

Concerning my job change, I will know more about that in 2 to 3 weeks so please pray I make the right decision when the time comes. When this first came up I went through a roller coaster of emotions.   The Lord is shaking those things that have been made in order that the things that cannot be shaken may remain (Hebrews 12:27.) He wants me to know that He alone is my provider, protector, and deliverer. My trust is to be in Him and in Him alone.  Just as a wife looks to her husband as provider, I am to look to the Lord as my provider/protector, since He is my Husband.    I am excited to see what happens and I will share that with you the next time!

One more thing, the Lord has led us to an amazing church.  They love people, mental illness and all.  The Lord provided AGAIN.

Do not fear, only believe.  Mark 5:36

Lord Jesus, I believe.

Gabrielle ~

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