Me: What are you going to do when you get to college and I’m not there to cook for you?
Dan (18, autism): I don’t know.
Me: Are you going to starve to death?
Me: Then what are you going to do?
Dan: I don’t KNOW.
Me: Well, how about if I start teaching you how to cook some of the things you like to eat so you won’t starve to death?
Dan (anxious): No, Mom, I can’t learn all that!
OK, Lord, what do I do now? How do I get past this roadblock, this drawbridge-up, moat-filled fortress of his? Arrow-prayer coming Your way! Ah, baby-steps, thank You!
Me (breaking it down to bite-sized pieces): How about this? What if we took ONE THING you like to eat and spend a WHOLE MONTH learning how to cook it? Then we could go on to another meal the next month. Is that a good plan?
Dan (tenatively): I think so.
Me: Well, August is almost over, how about if we start in September with just learning how to cook one thing that you like?
Dan (fearfully): O-kaaaaay.
And to put this plan in motion, all I have to do is ask him a couple of times this month, “What are we going to start doing every month in September?” And The Plan will come out of his own mouth. And you know what, that first week in September I will get no argument, no fussing, no stonewalling, because he acknowledged there was a problem and we agreed on a solution together.
Welcome to parenting an adult, Peggy! This is new territory for me, but not for my heavenly Father, who loves both of us to death, and is the best Parent of all.
~ Danz Mom, Peggy