Chosen Families

“Come unto me, all ye that labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”  Matthew 11:28-30

It seems straightforward enough, doesn’t it? When exhausted from our work, we are to go to the Master. We are to attach ourselves, side by side, to Him and learn of Him. This is how we find the rest that our souls so deeply desire.

In March, I needed a break. I’d had a tough fall and winter, trying to manage to be “Mom and Dad” in the fall semester evenings had been truly stressful and I’d gotten sick, time and again. My husband’s work schedule for the fall put him teaching every afternoon and evening, meaning that I was the one to deal with homework issues, supper, and getting the kids ready for bed and tucked in each night. Many moms manage this, right?

I am not like most moms. I have a chronic illness that causes me to fatigue easily. In addition, stress triggers the symptoms (from difficulty with mobility to difficulty thinking … and several other, more nasty symptoms). Plug in a child with Anxiety/OCD and a sibling experiencing his first year of middle school (and the uglier side of puberty), and you have my worst fall semester … ever.

I needed a break. I ached to see a glimpse of spring, after the long bleak winter. In March, I was given the gift of a week to “get away” to my parents’ home in the south, where spring was “springing up” already. It WAS wonderful to see blossoms everywhere and green leaves, again. Therapeutic is a word I’d use. I attempted to read my Bible more often and seek the Lord, but not quite enough. I spent more time drinking in the beauty of His creation than the refreshing of His Word.
Flory didn’t like me being away. She fought it, tooth and nail, before I left. I assured her that I would talk to her on the phone at night, or in the mornings. Each phone call, however, included a demand at the end: “Come home, Mommy. Right now; today.” But “Mommy” needed a break.

After a sweet period of rest and fun with my parents and my sister-in-law, we loaded up the car and headed back north. Even the road trips, to and from, were a slice of enjoyment for me. Long talks, laughter, no dishes or laundry, and lots of scenery were a great source of refreshment to me.

Not long after I came home, though, I experienced an exacerbation of my symptoms … right before our family was to go out of town to visit my husband’s relatives. A hospital stay is not exactly my idea of the perfect getaway. However, my body was telling me that I needed another “break.” Again, Flory missed me, greatly. My illness is almost like a “trigger” for her anxieties. She and her brother came a few times while I was there; sitting on my bed and watching television, reading books, and/or updating me on all that was going on in their lives. God used that time, oddly enough, for me to forge a few friendships (a kind and funny nurse and a roommate who took the time to get to know me and enjoy some laughter, despite our circumstances).

Now, I find I need a break again. Life’s ups and downs , the complications of having a chronic illness, my kids’ experiences as they both are entering the roller coaster of puberty … all are working together to make me feel, well, broken. Perhaps this time, before our family vacation that promises fun and refreshing, I will heed the words of the gospel of Matthew. In order to TRULY be the wife and mother I need to be for my family, I don’t need a “break.” I am already broken. I need to come unto the Master … for true rest.

Learning of Him,

Grace

Clutter; it’s one of the things that bug so many of us. It must be, because I often see it as a headliner on magazines for homemakers. “Ten Tips for Decluttering” or “How to Get Rid of Clutter” are just some examples. Flory even brought one such magazine over to me one day in the waiting room of the play therapist. I thought she was trying to be funny, but it turned out she just figured I could use it! I guess it’s obvious when you need to declutter.

Clutter in the living room: stray toys, yesterday’s newspaper, folded or unfolded laundry on the couch, someone’s shoes in the middle of the floor, and so the list goes on.

Clutter in the kitchen: a sink full of dirty dishes, containers or boxes of dry goods (like cereals) and peanut butter jars left on the counter, unopened or opened mail on the counter, stray backpacks near the door to the garage, and dog toys in the middle of the floor.

Clutter in the bedrooms: unmade beds, dirty and/or clean clothes on the floor or on any surface, toys that haven’t been put away, trash that didn’t make it into a nearby trashcan, odds and ends that we “just aren’t sure where to put,” stray hair ties, books (those that someone is reading and those that have not been placed back on a shelf), Nerf ‘bullets’ and stray Lego pieces, and whatever else you can imagine.

Are you getting the picture? Sound anything like your house? It definitely sounds like mine! One of the biggest ironies in my life is to hate clutter, but to be unable to avoid it. The more cluttered my home is, the harder it is for me to even think straight. I take a look at Flory’s room and start to scold her for such a mess…and then I find that I can’t. I would be a hypocrite. My room is next door and my side of the room mocks me with piles of “stuff.”

One problem is having too much “stuff.” In a land of plenty, we have become overwhelmed with “stuff.” We find ways to organize and store it; then go to yard sales or shopping and end up with more “stuff.” Some of it is sentimental, some of it is in a pile to “deal with later,” some of it is “going to come in handy someday” and some of it, we say, is an “ongoing project.” Are we too attached to “stuff?”

This was the problem of the “Rich Young Ruler” in the Bible (Matthew 19:16-22). When he assured Jesus that he had kept all the commandments from his youth, Jesus told him he was lacking one thing in his search for eternal life;  “… go and sell that thou hast, and give to the poor, and thou shalt have treasure in heaven: and come and follow me.” The Bible says that “… he went away sorrowful: for he had great possessions.”

Whenever I’ve come across tips for organizing and decluttering, I have found a few that always seem to be the basics. Here are the main ones that I usually see as great guidelines:

• Tip 1: Take one “room” at a time.  Trying to tackle everything at once can be overwhelming to even the best homemaker. If you break it down into smaller tasks, it can be less intimidating.
• Tip 2: Sort through your “piles of clutter.” Try this. For each category, use a large box/garbage bag. The categories are: “Keep,” “Donate,” “Throw Out.” As you sort, each item HAS to go into one of these three categories. Not sure which one? A common phrase I’ve heard is: “When in doubt, throw it out!”
• Tip 3: Organize and Maintain. Have a “place for everything and everything in its place.” This is the most difficult part for me. However, there are many resources for the “organizationally challenged.”
  -Local library – easy to find books on the subject
  -Internet search – plenty of posts and blogs by experts on the subject
  -Magazines targeted for homemakers (as in the one my daughter showed me)
  -That friend you know who “always seems to have her home organized so well”
  -My newest favorite source: Pinterest (Although it can be addictive, I’ve found some great resources there.)

Hopefully, you found something helpful here today. In my next post, I’ll use this theme to tackle the idea of “Clutter” in our spiritual lives.

-Grace