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Time to Breathe

June 11, 2013 By Leave a Comment

BreatheI have just completed week 2 of summer break and I have to say how thankful I am that I am a teacher! I actually do love more about teaching than the breaks, really I do, but I am especially thankful right now – looking forward to many more weeks of summer.

One of the best blessings of summer is time – time to just slow down and catch my breath from the hectic pace of the school year, time to enjoy my hobbies, and time to just hang out with my kids. I normally get to hang out with my 14-year-old neuro-typical daughter a lot. She has lots of energy like I do and we share a lot of hobbies in common – sewing, reading, listening to audiobooks, raising Angora rabbits, etc. We run errands together, eat lunch together, shop together, and even sit and read together. It’s easy to spend time with her, even during the busy times of the year.

Daniel, however, is my introverted 17-year-old son with Aspergers and it is sometimes hard to find things in common with him and things we can do together. I’m not a big video gamer (as a matter of fact, I tried to play a high action and high speed video game with him last week and he put it on the easiest level and I still did very poorly – he stated that I should stick to Angry Birds ☺.) I am not good at building with Legos. I can only take so many funny You Tube videos. The things he enjoys the most aren’t things that I particularly enjoy most of the time. I do try to do those things with him and I think that he appreciates my efforts.

Yesterday, his sister was over at a friend’s house and I asked him if we could spend some time together. He suggested we take a walk around the block, which we did, and then we went out to lunch together. I wanted to go to a little bit nicer Mexican restaurant but he wanted Taco Bell since he knows what he likes and knows what to order there – he likes the predictable. So, we ate inside Taco Bell and I have to tell you that I just really like my son. I always LOVE him but spending time just talking together reminds me that I actually like him too. He is a joy to spend time with, he is smart and creative and thoughtful and Godly. We talked about his ideas, his future, and so much more. Wow! I am so very, very blessed with the work the Lord has done with my kids, often through me and often in spite of me. I just had to take the time to hang out with Daniel to be reminded, once again, of the grace and blessing of God in my life and the life of my family.

Summer is such a blessing! I am so thankful for this time and I must remember, even during the busy times that will return in fall, to spend even more time with these amazing kids God has blessed me with – it is worth every second spent!

Grateful,

Brooke

Contact: Brooke@chosenfamilies.org

Filed Under: Asperger, Family, Parenting, rest, summer, Teenager, Uncategorized Tagged With: , ,

Costume Change

May 30, 2013 By Leave a Comment

On the day I was married, my mother doled out plenty of marital counsel. She’d have done just as well to summarize marriage thusly: “My child, there will be laundry. So much laundry.”

On any given week, I wash ten loads of laundry. More, if the sheets need to be done. More still, if Noah has led our children on the charge of “let’s have an adventure!” which inevitably means they’ve snuck down to the creek in search of the property’s dirtiest, wettest spot so they can bathe in it like natives. Country living is good for the soul. But it’s torture on your power bill.

All in a day's work.

All in a day’s work.

And then, there’s Noah himself, who performs more daily costume changes than Liza Minnelli at the Garden. Every child with autism is different. Each of their quirks is unique. For Noah, clothing is a major issue. Of pre-eminent concern is comfort. Many children with ASD have sensory issues, and for some, the least obtrusive clothing label can feel like a pad of steel wool against their skin. These items of clothing are worn for brief periods of time, and then Noah “discards” them in the laundry. Or, it can be that Noah decides the yellow tee shirt he put on didn’t look as hip as he’d hoped. This one is tried on in the full-length closet mirror and then thrown under his bed. And as all-boy, dirty-toenailed, hayloft clambering as he is, he REFUSES to wear a pair of pj’s more than once, considering it repugnant. I’ve tried laying them back out on his bed after he gets dressed, sneaking them back into his drawer, putting them on top of his towel before he gets into the shower. Nothing works. And this doesn’t even count the nights when he is too hot (change of pj’s – rather than simply kicking off the covers), or too cold (layer on every single pj he has, only to dump all of them in the laundry the next morning). If I had to estimate, I’d probably say 6 of the 10 loads I wash each week are Noah’s alone.

Like every appropriate behavior sought for our children, there is only so much doing, telling, showing, cajoling and begging we parents can do. Such is every parent’s fate, I suppose. In the end, Noah’s quirks with clothing are his, alone. So I have to be content to bite my bottom lip, and count the days until Noah’s old enough to remember where in the machine the detergent goes.

- Sarah

Contact: Sarah@chosenfamilies.org

Filed Under: Asperger, Autism, balance, Challenge, Parenting, Uncategorized, work Tagged With: , ,

Finding God in the Deafening Drama

May 28, 2013 By Leave a Comment

storm rage calms childSometimes I feel like I live in a war zone. I hope saying that is not offensive to those who really have loved ones living there. I mean no offense.

But sometimes the level of emotional volume in our home is just overwhelming. It is loud. It is hair trigger. There is no letting go of the little things. My goodness… there ARE no little things. Every issue is a mountain. Sometimes I wish for a few mole hills.

Sometimes I long for a “normal” family – whatever that means. You know the kind.  The ones who sit quietly in a restaurant, napkins in their laps, having polite conversation. Or how about the ones who cheer for each other at various sports events? What about those who attend band concerts or ballet or drama?

No, our drama is way louder and more, well, more dramatic.

And it is emotionally exhausting.

I find myself sometimes wishing time away and I know that is not a wise response. I try to tell myself that I will miss these days. But will I? Will I miss the drama and the loudness and the hair trigger?

Somehow I don’t think so.

It affects the entire family dynamic.  And I don’t know how to change that.

Then an hour passes and a boy/man embraces and apologizes.

How can we come to the place of catching it BEFORE the drama?  Is that ever going to be possible?

I find myself needing a vacation. And when does that ever happen? I want family time… but what I WANT family time to be… what I WISH family time was.  Not what it is.  Because what it is is exhausting and draining.

I am not sure of the answers. I tell myself to find rest in the Lord. What would HE do in the midst of the drama? Certainly He is here too.  But sometimes I find it hard to hear His still, small voice.

I know it must be there but it can get lost in the deafening noise.

And then this morning when I awoke in the quiet, I heard this in my heart:

1 God is our refuge and strength, A very present help in trouble.
2 Therefore we will not fear, though the earth should change And though the mountains slip into the heart of the sea;
3 Though its waters roar and foam, Though the mountains quake at its swelling pride. Selah.

4 There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God, The holy dwelling places of the Most High.
5 God is in the midst of her, she will not be moved; God will help her when morning dawns.
6 The nations made an uproar, the kingdoms tottered; He raised His voice, the earth melted.
7 The Lord of hosts is with us; The God of Jacob is our stronghold. Selah.

8 Come, behold the works of the Lord, Who has wrought desolations in the earth.
9 He makes wars to cease to the end of the earth; He breaks the bow and cuts the spear in two;
He burns the chariots with fire.
10 “Cease striving and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.”
11 The Lord of hosts is with us; The God of Jacob is our stronghold. Selah.
Psalm 46

God, I need to hear you in the deafening roar. Quiet me. Calm me. You are my refuge and strength. You are my present help in trouble.  You are my stronghold.  I need to hear your voice.

Listening,

Hannah

Contact: Hannah@chosenfamilies.org

Filed Under: Family, God's presence, Parenting, peace, Uncategorized

Ambiguity

May 23, 2013 By Leave a Comment

Trust in the LordI was being interviewed as a student by the Dean of Students at a large university for an assistantship in the department. Here I was in my mid twenties being asked a question and not having any idea what the word she used meant. After learning what it meant, I still wondered how I could have spent that long in life without encountering the word yet having lived it so profusely. (I also felt very stupid and still do when I think back on it.) The question was ” How do you handle ambiguity?” I had to ask her what it meant. Somehow I got the job which gave me a few more lessons in ambiguity.

The right word or term can bring clarity to a feeling or situation. Knowing a right word or right term can begin the process of healing, the process of finding a solution or at least send me in the right direction for help to deal with an unsolvable situation.

In a way we have been parents twice. The first time was with our boys who were a joy to raise. They followed normal patterns and they are now into their young adulthood, having launched and beginning relationships with significant others. (I am hoping for at least one wedding next summer.) Ambiguity was at a normal level.

Then we had the girls and I loved it! Finally, dolls, ruffles, lace, cute hairdos and sweet times. It wasn’t long before I was introduced to First Steps, IEPs and developmental delays. I was up to the challenge and enjoyed the journey of learning about them and loving them. Ambiguity was taking a back seat; until now!

Now, uncertainty is hitting us square in the face. It is so different than anxiety. I am relaxed in knowing that God has a future for them and that He is in control. It’s the “me” that is confusing.

I am uncertain with the decision of how we are educating them, especially Cassie. She is now working toward her GED. We could still send her to school for her Sophomore year if she insists on being lazy and unhelpful. Does she need the structure? Can she endure the environment? Can she endure the structure? Should we make her endure the structure to combat her laziness and bad use of time? Do we insist on her getting a job?  There are many more questions and they remain that because I see no clear answers.

What does Borderline Intellectual functioning and mildly mentally handicapped mean in disciplining them, pushing them, not pushing them…?   We want to raise producers, not consumers. What is the level of  maturity that we should expect from them? I have no idea. I just know I don’t like what I see.  I want some clear cut guidelines. I want to do this parenting right!!!

Both girls are rebellious, snitty, and just plain mean, especially to me. We are exhausted in trying to put a stop to it. We are both nearing 60 and we find that the energy and excitement isn’t there any more. Compound this with all the ambiguity and you know the only way we can rise above it is with His strength.

The familiar verse comes to my mind and heart. “Trust in the Lord with all of your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He shall direct your path.” (Proverbs 3:5-6)

As I see it, the new word is “steps”.   You have to take steps to walk down a path.  Take steps – one at a time- in the midst of all the confusion.  First step:  Ignore the ambiguity for now and deal with what is obvious. What I know for certain is that what I am seeing now in their behavior is not acceptable.  The steps will be softer than how I feel, but directional and intentional.   In the midst of dealing with aging parents and their immediate needs, my husband and I will meet, hopefully eating gyros sandwiches, and plan the steps we will take to begin the process of making life at home bearable again and turning them into productive young women.  Then we will meet with the girls and let them in on the plan.  If they rebel, I guess the steps will have to have more muscle.   If we are intentional now with what we do know, maybe the rest will fall in place.  I will let you know how this turns out.  If we don’t act now, summer could be unbearable.   I also want you to know that we have friends praying for us because we have been open about the situation, but please, don’t let that stop you from also praying for us and everyone on this blog!   There is strength in prayer!

Jan

Contact: jan@chosenfamilies.org

Filed Under: Borderline Intellectual Functioning (BIF), Discipline, Parenting, Uncategorized

Why I Love Being Cami’s Mom

May 12, 2013 By Leave a Comment

1 Oh, what joy for those
whose disobedience is forgiven,
whose sin is put out of sight!
2 Yes, what joy for those
whose record the Lord has cleared of guilt,
whose lives are lived in complete honesty!
(from Psalm 32, NLT)

This Mother’s Day Eve, as I think about what to post that will both express our lives authentically and encourage you wherever you are in your life, I’m tempted to just post a scripture and be done with it. After all, what can I possibly add to the many blog posts floating around out there about Mother’s Day? (See the bottom of this post for a few of my favorite links for the “holiday.”)

Yet, God won’t let me stay comfortable this evening. While it’s true that God’s Word is always the best thing to say in any situation, I feel His encouragement this evening to include some of my own vulnerability. As I try to write about Mother’s Day, I think about all of us who dread this second Sunday in May. My heart is heavy for all of us who are so tired and worn that calling attention to the reason for our tiredness and worn-ness is the last thing we want.

Some of us find it hard to celebrate being a mother when being a mother is so hard.

I remember how my heart broke every Mother’s Day that marked another year of my infertility. While I love and appreciate my own mom, I found it difficult to feel grateful on Mother’s Day when my heart felt so empty and abandoned. I understood Hannah’s grief first-hand: “Crushed in soul, Hannah prayed to God and cried and cried—inconsolably” (1 Samuel 1:10 in The Message).

And then it happened. All the prayers and all the waiting and and all the infertility treatments finally worked: I was pregnant! You’d think I would’ve felt elated, right? After waiting for so long and trying so hard and crying so much, I felt two things: relieved and terrified. 

I was relieved that I was finally pregnant, that I was finally going to experience my lifelong dream of being a mommy.

I was terrified that I was finally pregnant, that I was finally going to experience my lifelong dream of being a mommy.

I remember, after the phone call from the doctor with the good news, lying on the couch and begging God, “Please. Let it be real this time. Let it be okay. Please, Lord, let this baby be healthy. I can’t handle having a child with special needs.”

Oh, yes, I did. I prayed that prayer. And I believed it, too: I could only handle so much, and special needs were not in my repertoire. My mom had worked for years with physically and mentally handicapped children, and I’d recognized my own inability to connect with her students. It upset me so much to be around her students that I would visit her at work only after school hours, only after all the students had been dismissed and bussed home. Looking back on that immature, selfish, high-school me, I see now that my angst wasn’t really about those students. My angst was about a seemingly-loving God Who allowed such (as I perceived it) struggle and heartache. I know now how much joy and blessing I missed by not connecting with those kids.

I sit here this evening realizing that, among all the other struggles and blessings that they are, Cami’s hidden disabilities provide the God-given do-over for this selfish heart of mine. Time after time, I reach the end of my know-how, the end of all my teacher-training, all my intelligent assumptions, and I’m left with no idea what to try next with my girl. And time after time, God meets me in my insufficiency and proves Himself to be my El Shaddai, my All-Sufficient One, my Strength-Giver, my One Who is mighty to nourish and satisfy. Time after time, when I run to the Maker of my precious daughter, He shows me what to do and how to do it.

Mother’s Day feels a little like arriving at an art-gallery opening where the featured Artist hands me His most prized canvas and says, “Here. Sign your name to it.” And I say, “But all I’ve done is admire Your work and paint where You’ve told me.” And He says, “I know. It’s My gift to you.” It feels out of sync to be celebrated as the mom when I can’t take any credit for the beauty my girl is. God has done it all.

So I’ll do what I’ve done for almost 13 years now: I’ll enjoy the masterpiece that is my daughter and treasure the gift that she is to me.

Glamour Cami

BananaMama

kitchen drawer

ScooterPootin Blues

StaticHair

scooterpoot on her scooter

Beautiful Girls Easter 2007

Christmas 2008

sams

Me and my girl

trampoline rocker

DC Adventurer

wind

IMAG1581

bookstore

420441_10151179727641178_1637745823_n

IMAG0590

Luray

atlantic girls

2 girls

I’m the one who is so stinking blessed.

*A few of my favorite links about mothering:

♥ Lisa Leonard’s When I Became a Mother on (in)courage’s blog

♥ Lisa-Jo Baker’s beautiful Mighty Mom video and printable

♥ Lisa-Jo’s Tired Mother’s Creed printable

♥ One more Lisa-Jo post: The (Real Life) Dictionary Definition of “Mother”

♥ Ann Voskamp’s Why Mother’s Day Is For the Birds

Praying you take time to breathe in El Shaddai’s love and grace.

He is all you need.

Candi

Filed Under: Confession, Parenting Tagged With: ,

A Walk in His Shoes

May 9, 2013 By Leave a Comment

Tennis shows and soccer ballJesse threw a fit this morning. Why? Because we asked him to put his clothes on. “I want to stay in my jammies!” he screamed. “I don’t want my clothes!!” The clothes were scratchy and cold; his pj’s were soft and room temperature. Later, at the breakfast table, he yelled at me when my dabbing with a napkin proved inadequate to remove the syrup from his jammies. “Get it off!” he howled. “It’s still sticky!” A light touch is like a thousand tiny feathers to Jesse; a warm room is an oven. He has been known to strip completely naked in the wee hours, only to greet our saucer eyes and gaping mouths the next morning with the explanation, “because I was hot!” He prefers dark rooms to light, spicy to bland, movement to stillness. As a child with ASD, Jesse’s world looks, feels, sounds, and smells differently from that of the neurotypical, and he therefore exhibits strong preferences for the things he likes or alternatively cannot tolerate. His brother, Noah for example still cannot eat a meal if there is a candle in eye range, because something about the consistency of the wax that sets him to vomiting.

In recognizing the differences between the sensory processing of ASD and non-ASD individuals, YouTube video footage proved illustrative recently. To the extent it could, it demonstrated what it’s like to walk in the shoes of someone who has a sensory processing disorder. And it gave me a near-instant injection of patience with Jesse. After a lunch consisting of a veggie wrap with hummus (the child can eat hummus by the spoonful, I believe somewhere he was tricked into believing it was peanut butter) I went to put my son in his pj’s (clean, of course – with no sticky residue). I did it slowly and quietly, rubbing his back as I did, bringing the stimulus in his world down to a manageable level. I buried him in his “stuffies” (his stuffed animals) as he requested, and lay with him until he got sleepy. And then I put his tiny shoes back under the bed – the ones that I found could also fit my grown-up feet.

- Sarah

Contact: Sarah@chosenfamilies.org

 

Image courtesy of Stuart Miles/FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Filed Under: Asperger, Parenting, Sensory Processing Disorder, Uncategorized Tagged With: , ,

Lessons from a Scarecrow

May 5, 2013 By 3 Comments

Meet one of my scarecrows. His name is Eddie.*

Eddie the Scarecrow

Eddie the Scarecrow

Eddie is a motion-sensitive sprinkler. When something moves in the garden, like birds or critters, Eddie spouts off. He varies the patterns and duration of his spray each time, to keep his air of mystery—and to keep the birds and critters guessing.

Eddie has a sensitivity knob. His motion detecting can go from a 1 (least sensitive) to a 10 (the wind blows, and he spurts). A sensitivity setting of about a 7½ is sufficient for our tiny garden. So far, Eddie’s doing a great job. I haven’t seen any squirrel-dug holes in the raised beds recently.

Eddie’s sensitivity doesn’t encompass the entire back yard, tiny as it is, so he has a partner. Franco* keeps an eye out from the opposite corner of the yard. Franco is a motion-sensitive sprinkler just like Eddie, with a sensitivity knob and the same job to do: protect the garden from unwelcome intruders.

You’d think both Eddie and Franco’s sensitivity knobs should be set at the same number, right? (Here’s where the scarecrows have been schooling me.) Eddie guards the part of the yard closest to the house, away from the trees behind our fence. Franco guards the part of the yard near the back fence, where the trees’ leaves and branches frequently fall. There’s also a wind chime that hangs almost directly over Franco’s head. Franco’s corner of the yard experiences more movement than Eddie’s does, so Franco’s sensitivity knob needs to be set to a slightly different level than Eddie’s sensitivity knob. By trial and error, we’ve found the best setting for both scarecrow sprinklers, and the garden is well guarded.

The scarecrows Eddie and Franco remind me of my husband and me as we parent our daughter. Michael’s sensitivity knob sits at a different setting than mine does. There are times when I jump to alarm at every little nonverbal cue I think Cami might be giving and I end up hovering (yes, I am a recovering helicopter mom). Just the same, there are times when Michael misses the subtext in Cami’s body language and her feelings end up hurt or misunderstood. Each of us have different approaches and bring different filters to our family life together. We don’t always get it right. Through trial and error, though, we’re getting it right many more times than we’re messing it up. Cami needs both of us, even when our sensitivity knobs are at different settings. Together, we make a good team.

Looking forward to a bountiful harvest,

Candi

*Michael named the scarecrow sprinklers. Just sayin’.

Contact: cassandra@chosenfamilies.org

Filed Under: Parenting, Sensory Processing Disorder Tagged With: ,

Momentous Decisions and Memory Lane

March 29, 2013 By Leave a Comment

 

Today I met a cousin who flew into town with one of her high school daughters, to check out a local university. Wow, I can remember like it was yesterday (over 10 years ago) when our firstborn looked at colleges, this university included. All that pressure, pressure, pressure to decide the BEST education to prepare for a career for the rest of their lives … which school will steer them into their “life work”? Will they get accepted? Where will the money come from? What will they BE when they “grow up”?

This local university is prestigious, huge, secular. We home schooled our daughter, which (way back then) felt risky, but right for her, for multiple reasons. What if the colleges didn’t accept her transcript? Would she be penalized for not doing education the “normal” way??

I remember stepping out of a meeting to take her call. “Mama, I got IN!” In fact, she was accepted to every school she applied. Wow. Our church is not a particularly “dancing” church, but you can believe I D-A-N-C-E-D when she told me the news! In the end, she said “no” to this university, and chose a small Christian college, in another state, in the boonies. We loved it. She made great friends, became an excellent nurse.

Now, 10 years later, she is happily married, pregnant, and has decided to leave her career to stay home with her baby. What matters NOW in her daily life is whether or not she loves and honors her husband, whether she can make ends meet on a tight budget, and how interesting she can make CHICKEN, 5 out of 7 days a week ;) . College is totally in her rear view mirror, already.

Soooo, what about all those momentous decisions about education?? Were they a waste of time? No. Her education experience was significant, and shaped her.  (It shaped ME!) But her education is not THE thing. GOD is. God shaped her THROUGH education. Now He’s shaping her THROUGH marriage, a challenging pregnancy, and the price of chicken.

The primary thing is this: acquire wisdom; and with all your acquiring, get understanding. Prize her, and she will exalt you; she will honor you if you embrace her. Proverbs 4:6-8

God has been delightfully and completely UNLIMITED by everything WE felt were true limitations: how much money we had, which education path we chose, our inexperience, our children’s abilities and their disabilities. God has successfully used ALL the different education pathways (home school, Christian, charter, secular) to shape and steer our children towards HIMSELF.  Jesus has been/is The Ark for our children – not education, college or otherwise.

And the “momentous” decisions were then, as now, every decision we make (or not) to seek God.  To love Him. Some days that is harder than any exam I ever took.

But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which is alive today and tomorrow is thrown into the furnace, will He not much more clothe you? You of little faith! Do not worry then, saying, ‘What will we eat?’ or ‘What will we drink?’ or ‘What will we wear for clothing?’ For the Gentiles eagerly seek all these things; for your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. But continually seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be provided to you. Matthew 6:30-33

My youngest called recently, from college, telling me how she had seen God help her that day. I tell you the truth – that matters to me more than any grade she gets.

The main thing IS still the Main Thing:

Q. What is the chief end of man?
A. Man’s chief end is to glorify God, and to enjoy him forever.

(1st question of the Westminster Catechism, the only question I remember!)

I can do that :) .

Joan

 

Filed Under: Change, Journey, Parenting, Uncategorized

When I Am Old

March 27, 2013 By Leave a Comment

When I am old, I will miss the night-time creeping that precedes a whispered request to sleep with me. I will miss peeking at the door through a half-closed eye to watch how carefully one of my children turns the knob, how gently the door is closed. This quietness will always mystify me, for when the sun is in the heavens, my children are only able to slam doors.

When I’m old, I will miss the elbows and knees and pointy joints softened by a covering of baby fat that dig their way into my ribs. I will miss the comfort of their presence beside me when daddy is away – which is often. I will miss how it brings me peace in a home that is still unfamiliar. I will miss having to pause for my evening’s final task – turning on the hall light – so that the path to my room isn’t dark or frightening.

When I am old, I will miss the screaming that takes place between two children above my head at three o’clock in the morning, because each wants me to themselves.

Who am I kidding? I won’t miss that at all.

When I am old I will be the one begging for “a hug and a kiss,” and not Jesse. I will be the one asking if she would lay down beside me, not Grace. I will be the one still seeking out a reticent Noah, wrapping my arms around him in the gorilla embrace that is one of the few he tolerates. And in that way, my world will remain a bit the same.

When I am old, I will miss the baby breath humming through lips parted in sleep. I will miss the fuzz of a Disney blanket carried to bed against my face. I will miss kissing the tops of their heads as they settle in, grinning like monkeys because they’ve had their way.

But for tonight, I’d just really like to get some sleep.

- Sarah

Filed Under: Asperger, Attachment, Blessing, Contentment, Family, General, Journey, Parenting, Uncategorized, warmth

Off to Work

March 21, 2013 By 1 Comment

As I have mentioned before, the concern about what my son Daniel will do for a living as an adult often crosses my mind. I have been submitting this to prayer a lot lately. He is almost 17 (in May) and has Aspergers and learning challenges. Many of the characteristics of his challenges make traditional jobs unlikely to be good fit for him. Noise bothers him, dirt bothers him, repetitive jobs drive him nuts, etc.

So, when my brother-in-law mentioned that he needed temporary extra help at his manufacturing company for a large order, Daniel came to mind (a mom’s hopeful thinking) and then left my mind (all of the above challenges are a part of this job). I decided to mention it to him anyway since he is trying to save money for an expensive gaming computer. To my surprise, he said yes! I asked him about the things that would bother him and he, on his own, came up with coping strategies. For the noise and repetitive jobs, he would wear headphones and listen to an audio book. For the dirt, he would ask to work in a non-fiberglass area. I was SO proud that he was willing to step out of his comfort zone and that he was able to come up with solutions to the issues in order to reach a step along to way to his goal of saving money for the computer.

The only problem that remained was the pay. When Daniel got off from work on his first day, he told me that he was making $8/hour. He said that this was a problem because he just couldn’t remember his 8s on his times tables. He said he knew it would be rude to ask for $9/hour (he knows a trick to remember his 9s) and he didn’t want to ask for less money. I suppressed a chuckle and discussed ways to figure out how much he had made using other methods. I love that guy! He makes me laugh and makes me proud!

The lesson through it all, for me as his mom, is that God has it covered. He has my back and Daniel’s back. Whew. I am so thankful to see God at work and to see Him answer prayers. The maturing process in a child with Asperger’s may be slower, but it happens and I am so glad to see maturity and responsibility growing in my son. I am thankful to see Him overcoming and coping with his challenges. This temporary job is a great first step to future employment and future independence! Praise the Lord!

Encouraged,

Brooke

Filed Under: Asperger, Parenting, Teenager, Uncategorized, work Tagged With: , , , ,
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