When a train goes through a tunnel and it gets dark, you don’t throw away your ticket and jump off. You sit still and trust the engineer. Corrie ten Boom
I am so very thankful I know without a shadow of doubt that I can “sit still and trust the engineer.” We all know life consists of traveling through dark tunnels and most of us have traveled through many dark tunnels in our lifetime. It was during one of those dark tunnels that the Lord called me out of the darkness and into the light, praise God. It is when we are going through the dark tunnels in our lives that we develop a deeper relationship with the Lord. This makes me think of Acts 14:22 which says “through many hardships and tribulations we must enter the kingdom of God” Amplified Bible (AMP). Knowing this truth is how we as believers go through those dark tunnels “sitting still.”
Looking back at the verse above, did you notice “many”??? It is through many hardships and tribulations we enter the kingdom of God. I am not saying that someone who has an “easy life” cannot be a believer or have a strong relationship with the Lord but for me personally, even though sometimes (most of the time) I wish for an easier life or, should I say, less stressful life, then I know my relationship with the Lord would not be what it is today. My son’s illness (schizoaffective disorder) has kept me on my knees as I have said many times, and for that I am thankful. I am thankful I have Someone (the Lord) I can cry out to without fear of rejection or condemnation. I can be totally honest with Him because He knows my heart anyway. That is very comforting to me.
I have been blessed with being able to take Precept courses over the years and listen to Kay Arthur’s teaching. I love what she says about how we naturally want to run to the “arm of flesh” instead of the Lord when trouble comes. I remember her asking when a trial comes unexpectedly what is the first thing we usually do? We usually run to the “arm of flesh” either by telephone or car! I am so guilty of this. Isaiah 31:1 says: “Woe to those who go down to Egypt for help, And rely on horses, And trust in chariots because they are many, And in horsemen because they are very strong, But they do not look to the Holy One of Israel, nor seek the Lord!” Then Isaiah 31:3 explains: “Now the Egyptians are men, and not God, And their horses are flesh and not spirit; So the Lord will stretch out His hand, And he who helps will stumble And he who is helped will fall, And all of them will come to an end together.” I don’t want to jump off when I go through the tunnel. I want to “sit still and trust.” This is a choice I have to make. The Lord is teaching me greater dependence on Him. My help comes from Him, and from Him alone.
For an update on my son’s illness, he is doing very good. His psychiatrist changed his meds a couple of weeks ago and it has made a huge difference! He even went to “his” church by himself! That is major!!!!!! We are reducing one medication and raising up the new medication so pray it will continue to be a success! I am so proud of my son and I just wish people knew his heart the way I do. Mental illness has a way of humbling a person. Every time my son sees a person on the side of the road asking for money, he wants to give them some money, even if just a dollar, because he said that could easily be him. He understands his dependency on his medications and on me at this point but you know what? We are ALL totally dependent on the grace of God. I Corinthians 15:10 reads: “By the grace of God I am what I am, and His grace toward me did not prove vain; but I labored even more than all of them, yet not I, but the grace of God with me.” Thank you Father for your grace!
For an update on my job situation, that is the dark tunnel I am now in but I am not throwing away my ticket and jumping off the train because I know I can trust the engineer!