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On the Edge of Glory

September 8, 2012 By 3 Comments

It is amazing to me how fast time flies. It seems like yesterday I was picking up Daniel (ADHD, Aspergers, learning disabilities) from preschool and hearing once again about how he had bitten someone or was having trouble with his letters and writing. Even with his challenges, I knew he was an amazing boy. Then, when we got the Asperger’s diagnosis in 3rd grade, although I had to readjust my expectations, I still knew he was an amazing boy.

I wonder how many of us would actually want a “normal” child. Yes, we want our children to fall within certain social or academic parameters to make life easier for them and for us. And we want them to look normal in their dress and appearance to some degree. But do we really want them to BE normal? I thought I wanted normal children – ones that follow the rules and succeed in school and are always obedient. But when the Lord gave me the two I have, and one of them struggled in school and in social life and in behavior, I realized I didn’t really want normal kids. Yes, I cried a lot when I couldn’t figure out what to do about social conflicts, academic challenges, or difficulties. I prayed a lot too. But, most of all, I loved my little critters and really enjoyed them.

As time has flown by, the Lord has taught me so very many things. One thing that he has preached to my soul over and over is that he has great plans for both my children. Now, as Daniel is sixteen and only two years away from his senior year of high school, I realize that he is on the edge of those great plans, on the edge of glory (God’s glory, that is). Daniel is showing me that all that struggle and therapy and regular schooling and homeschooling and prayer and Bible study and encouragement is going to be worth it. He is becoming a responsible driver, a child who is quick to help when I ask (even if he doesn’t see the need on his own, he is willing to help if I point it out), a young man who wants to learn about the Lord and grow in his faith (even if the noise and chaos of youth group and Sunday School can overwhelm him), and an eager learner. He has learned about himself over the years and can tell me how he wants to learn something and the pace at which he wants that learning to take place.

I am so thankful that as time continues to fly by, God will continue to reveal his glory in and through Daniel. I can trust in God’s faithfulness that I have seen in His promises and in our lives. So, for those of you who are struggling (and I know we will continue to have heartaches and struggles too), know that there are beautiful times ahead where God will begin to reveal the young man or woman that your chosen child will be someday. He will show you in many ways how HIS glory will be revealed in your life and your child’s life. Keep up the praying and moving forward – to the glory of God.

~ Brooke

Filed Under: ADHD, Asperger, God's presence, learning disabilities, Teenager Tagged With: , , , , , ,

Of Church and Comedy Camp

July 5, 2012 By Leave a Comment

The past three weeks have been terrific ones for Daniel. He passed his driver’s test (with less nerves than I felt as his mom). He attended two weeks of full day comedy camp and put on a wonderful show with his fellow classmates. He went to bed on time each night on his own, got up easily and drove himself to and from camp. He went straight to his room each night to regenerate but he LOVED the camp. In most camps Daniel has done in the past, I have had to pick him up early or he has gone a few days and been overwhelmed and not finished the week. But this time, he finished two whole weeks! These are huge milestones for him. I am so thankful God is showing both Daniel and me that there are amazing things Daniel can do. He is overcoming and excelling. Wow!

He has missed church for a few weeks due to his need to recharge with some alone time after camp but he wanted to go to Sunday School and church this past Sunday. We arrived as usual and I dropped him off in the big entryway area where the teens gather before dispersing for their Sunday School classes. I went to my class upstairs and left him to his own devices. A few minutes after class started, I looked outside the room and saw Daniel standing there looking concerned. I excused myself and went out to talk to him. He told me that he was a little overwhelmed with all the kids and all the noise. He didn’t remember where his class met and didn’t see any of the kids from his class. I told him I was surprised that he was overwhelmed since he had been doing so well. He answered profoundly, “Mom, no matter how much I overpower it and push past it, I still have two disorders, you know” (ADHD and Aspergers). Another wow! I gladly indulged this wise truth and invited him to come to my Sunday School class. He came and really enjoyed it. He even asked if he could continue to come to my class and my kind Sunday School class teacher told him he was always welcome. It is a pretty laid back class and he enjoyed the humor, the people, and the lesson.

I am so very thankful that the Lord is at work in Daniel’s life. He is growing and maturing and learning so much about himself and the world around him. I am so thankful to see the self-awareness, and thus other-awareness, growing. It is so nice to have such hopeful signs in our life. Way to go, Daniel.

~ Brooke

Filed Under: Asperger, Teenager Tagged With: , , , , ,

It’s a Fact!

June 9, 2012 By Leave a Comment

Significant events are coming up in the life of my son, Daniel. He is taking his driver’s license test tomorrow and then on Monday, he starts two weeks of comedy camp at our local theater. I am nervous and excited about both.

He, however, told me in the car today that, for some reason, he doesn’t have any particular emotion about either. His Aspie-driven trust in facts has given him confidence and peace in these circumstances. He knows these “facts” – that he is a good driver and that he is funny. Thus, those two events that make mom nervous and excited, are just matter of fact happenings to him. I think that is a pretty good “side effect” of having Aspergers.

I, however, don’t have Aspergers and I think about all the things and people that can affect the outcome of both events. I worry that the driver’s license tester will not appreciate Daniel’s matter of fact statements or his quirky sense of humor. I worry that Daniel will get rattled and not pass the driving test. I worry that the other students in comedy camp will exclude him or be unkind. I worry that the teacher of the camp will not understand or appreciate Daniel.

Then, on the other side, I hope that he will pass his driving test with flying colors. I hope that the comedy camp will reveal a niche, a gift, a place that Daniel’s quirkiness and sense of humor will shine. I know that he is an amazing kid and funny and enjoyable and I hope that others will see it too.

These hopes take me back to some facts that I, the non-Aspie mom of an amazing Aspie teen, need to remember – I know that God made Daniel different by design. I know that God made him this way on purpose (Psalm 139). I know that God has plans for Daniel for a hope and a future (Jeremiah 29:11). So, reciting these “facts” has reassured me that all will be well in one way or the other and I don’t have a reason to worry or fear these big events. Maybe we could all use a little “Aspie-driven trust in facts”, specifically, the facts in God’s Word and a trust in the author of those facts. What God says, He will do. Amen!

~ Brooke

Filed Under: Anxiety, Asperger, Homeschool Tagged With: , , , , , ,

Homeschooling Driver’s Ed

April 23, 2012 By 1 Comment

Before I knew that Daniel had Asperger’s, I just thought he had ADHD. As a part of my motherly habit of borrowing trouble from tomorrow (as Matthew 6 says NOT to do), I started worrying about having a teenage driver someday who would notice a squirrel beside the road and veer off into a tree or another driver. Inattention and impulsivity were my concerns at that time. I decided back then that I would be glad to help my son learn to drive but that I would be even more happy to let an official driver’s education class do the work – most likely one that his high school would offer. Little did I know that I would be his high school and thus, his driver’s ed teacher.

So, now I actually have a 15-year-old teenage boy that I am teaching how to drive. We only have about a month until I have a 16-year-old driver. (Yikes!) As he began to get closer to driving age, I investigated some classes that are offered locally that would teach him how to drive but, knowing my Aspie and NOT knowing if the instructors had ever taught a kid with Asperger’s, I decided that it would be best if the High School of Mom taught him how to drive.

Driving is a stressful thing for any kid learning how to do it but for a kid with Asperger’s, that stress of integrating all the things that you have to integrate (looking at the road, watching for other drivers, staying in the center of your lane, figuring out where you are going, knowing where to turn, figuring out whether to hit the gas or the brake, etc.) PLUS dealing with the social part of listening to your instructor and interpreting his tone of voice is REALLY stressful. The mom in me had learned to keep that calm voice and give clear advance instructions so I took on the scary and prayer-filled job. I tend to also give short directions with not much explanation. I tend to save the explanations for later when we are stopped so that I don’t distract him from driving. (His dad, however, tends to explain a concept for quite a while and really tends to frustrate Daniel while he is driving. He says he can’t listen to all that information and still drive. I think it is probably good for him to learn that skill for when he has people in the car with him but it’s all about the baby steps – one step at a time.)

At first, Daniel had to have music playing while learning to drive – he said he couldn’t concentrate with just silence. He has always liked having background noise while he does things. As he grew in confidence, he didn’t need that anymore. The things that formerly took a lot of concentration became automatic and he began to be able to judge his speed, his distance from other cars, and even set the cruise control with ease.

One really good thing that Daniel’s Asperger’s contributes to his learning to drive is that there is a strong awareness of the rules of the road. He has those signs and speed limits and seat belt rules down pat. He even corrects me rather strongly when I break a rule like taking one hand off the wheel or going a mile or two over the speed limit – irritating but I’m glad to know he knows and will follow those rules.

Now, one month away from the license, we are learning what he calls “paths” to different destinations. He is mapping these out in his mind (even though he can’t seem to memorize the road names) and figuring out how to get to the most common destinations. We are also learning really important things like what to do in an accident and putting a checklist of phone numbers in the glove compartment. I know that not all police officers and not all people understand Asperger’s so I may decide to put this on the emergency sheet too. We will definitely go over what to say in an accident so as not to get the other person angry (like DON’T repeatedly point out what they did wrong or what law they broke).

It is always scary when I send my son somewhere by himself without people who understand him and not knowing what HE will do and how others will react. But, it is a really scary thought to send my son out on the road by himself! He is turning out to be a really good driver and I know he will do just fine. I know that I will have to trust the Lord just like I always do and that the Lord will be faithful. You can be sure, however, there will be a lot of prayers going up from THIS mom when Daniel hits the road solo!

~Brooke

Filed Under: Asperger, Homeschool, Parenting Tagged With: , , , ,