What He Does

Noah’s going to the 2012 London Olympics.  Not as a spectator.  Oh, no.  He tells us that he’s going as a competitor in swimming.  Which should be interesting, considering he’s only recently mastered swimming in the deep end of the pool.  And why shouldn’t he be competing?  We’ve told him that there’s nothing he can’t achieve if he sets his mind to it.  But setting his mind and simultaneously applying his body does not seem to be a concept he’s mastered.  Noah is extremely perseverant. But this dedication manifests only when Noah is already into something – when he’s so far invested that to turn back would invite ridicule, or equate to failure.

Trying to ply my children with engaging activities while buying myself a few hours of solace, I’ve laid out careful camp plans this summer.  This week was art camp.  Run by a talented local artist with a lovely studio, there were children ages 5 to 8 in the class.  He got to go with his sister.  It was only a few hours, and the class was small.  It seemed perfect.   Seemed.

After the first day, Noah announced that he hated art camp because it was too difficult, and it required work. It was something he hadn’t mastered, and couldn’t pretend that he had.  He didn’t want to go back and try again when the shading or shape wasn’t quite right.  He was ready to quit after one day.  Well, we’re not quitters.

Plus, I’ve already paid for the whole week.

What Noah does is jump to the most extreme conclusion, the highest pinnacle of achievement related to the belief that he can – as we’ve told him – achieve anything he sets his mind to.  This means winning Olympic gold, writing a New York Times bestseller, or painting the next “Starry Night.”  Instantly. He will tell you he can do it all. And if he tries it without instant success, he automatically “hates it.”  Noah expects to be prodigious at everything he attempts, not understanding that even Mozart spent a few hours in practice on the harpsichord.

He hasn’t figured out that setting your mind to something also means setting your body in motion to achieve it.

I think Noah has the hard part down.  I’m excellent at brute achievement , the doing of things, the slaving away.  But the belief that I might be able to achieve something?  I’m often surprised when I meet a goal.  For me, the mental part is the biggest challenge.  I am sometimes hindered from achieving what I want because I get hung up in the “am I good enough?” minutiae and it frequently slows my stride.

We told Noah that art was a challenge, but a beautiful exercise in dedication.  We told him it would take practice, and that it would get better with every minute spent in his sketchbook.  We were right.  Not prone to emotions of extremes or anything (ahem), he told me today he LOVED art camp. Why?  Because the drawing of an egg that he’d been working to shade for 3 days finally, with hard work, came out just the way he’d already planned.

- Sarah

Wonderful Interruption

I posted last week about the battle in our house because the kids are out of school. Just to update you on our situation … we have all survived another week and things are not sooooo bad. In fact we have had moments that border on civility.

The problem is between Stephen, who is fifteen and has Asperger’s, and his younger sister, Katie, who is eleven and neurotypical. Neither of them likes to back down from an argument and both of them like to be in control. So, learning not to be sucked into an argument or not to always insist on playing the game you want to play is the added challenge we face when trying to fill the empty days of summer. I think we are making some progress, but usually it is three steps forward and two steps back. But today … today I have a little respite. Because this afternoon two of our dear little friends from church have come to play for a little while. And while they are here, even though there are still things to disagree about there are little people to play with. And one big thing Stephen and Katie have in common is that they LOVE little friends and who wants to fight while there are little friends over to play?!

~Louise